Self-contained, remotely managed peat bog experiences for the modern urban professional. Step into the pod. Smell the earth. Cut the turf. Feel absolutely nothing change — and somehow, everything.
Active Bogs
Turfs Cut
Dampness Rating
Complaints*
As Ignored By
What started as a remote-managed fitness pod platform has evolved into something far more meaningful: enclosed, bookable peat bog experiences installed in gyms, offices, and car parks across the UK. Same technology. Same app. Dramatically more soil. Our investors have been informed.
Our investors have not responded. Their phones appear to be off. We choose to interpret this as quiet confidence.
Each Peaty Pod is a self-contained ecosystem of dampness, earth, and quiet reflection. Remotely managed. App-controlled. Inexplicably funded.
Our proprietary humidity system maintains a consistent 94% dampness level, calibrated to match a November Tuesday in Fermanagh. Adjustable via the app if you prefer a more Tyrone-adjacent experience.
Each pod contains 200kg of ethically-sourced Irish peat, imported monthly and inspected by our Head of Peat, who asks no questions. Genuine spade included. The spade has a name. You will learn it in time.
Book your 45-minute bog session via the Peaty Pods app. Receive push notifications when your peat is ready. Share your stats with absolutely no one. Nobody wants to see them. We checked.
Choose from Distant Tractor, Light Drizzle (Donegal), Heavy Drizzle (Donegal), or our premium option: Complete Silence Broken Only By A Dog Barking Somewhere Far Away That May Or May Not Exist.
Every completed session earns a genuine turf briquette, dispensed from the pod on exit. Collect ten and you've basically heated a small room for an evening. Collect a hundred and we need to have a conversation about boundaries.
Track Turf Output, Bog Endurance Score, and Spade Efficiency Rating on your dashboard. Leaderboard permanently dominated by farmers from Fermanagh who've never heard of the app but are somehow top-ranked. We cannot explain this.
Our most requested feature. Same bog. No lights. The in-pod display shows nothing. Séamus is still there — you just can't see him. Users describe it as "profoundly unsettling" and "the best sleep I never had." Three users have reported hearing breathing. We have not investigated.
Team-building packages for up to 6 employees per pod. Your manager will cut turf beside you in silence. Nobody speaks. HR approved this. They don't fully understand it but the form went through and everyone came back calmer and slightly damp.
Our VBT player streams real-time bog content directly to the in-pod display. Watch a fella in wellies silently cut turf for 45 minutes. No instructions. No motivation. Just the spade and the earth and the occasional sigh.
Sessions are led by certified Bog Tutors — locals who were already doing this anyway and graciously agreed to be filmed.
Content Library: Over 200 hours of footage. SĂ©amus alone accounts for 140 of those. He does not know this. We are not entirely sure he knows he's being filmed. The camera crew maintain a respectful distance. One of them has started cutting turf himself. He has not been asked to do this.
with SĂ©amus (Roscommon)
Simple pricing. Unlimited dampness. No hidden fees. All plans include a spade.
Spade cannot be taken home. Don't ask about the spade.
† SĂ©amus visit subject to availability. SĂ©amus has never confirmed a visit. SĂ©amus does not have email. We leave notes at his gate. He has not acknowledged them. Last month's note was returned with a drawing of a tractor on it. We have framed this and hung it in our office. We do not have an office.
I went in expecting a workout and came out smelling like my granda's shed. Honestly? Best Tuesday I've had in years. My Turf Output is through the roof. I've named my spade. We have a bond now. My wife is concerned. I am not.
I installed a Peaty Pod in my gym thinking it was a software update for the PT Pod. Three months later it's our most booked experience. I don't understand it. Nobody does. I'm afraid to remove it. The members have formed some kind of group.
I booked a 45-minute session eleven days ago. I am still in the pod. The peat is warm. The tay keeps coming. I have no desire to leave. I have never been more relaxed. My out-of-office is on. My Turf Output is remarkable.
We invested £2.3 million based on a pitch deck that was just photographs of a field in Roscommon. I have no further comment at this time. My lawyers have asked me to stop talking. I have booked a session for Thursday.
The peat is real. The dampness is real. The spade is real. Whether the experience itself constitutes "reality" is a question we leave to our users and, increasingly, their therapists.
You cut turf. Or don't. Some users just stand there. One user brought a book. The book got damp. He came back the next day. He did not bring the book. Nobody talks about the book.
SĂ©amus is our Head of Content. He is a man from Roscommon who cuts turf in a field. We installed a camera. He has said one word ("Aye") in 14 months of continuous filming. He is, by some metrics, the most-watched man in British wellness. He does not know this.
No. The spade stays in the pod. This is non-negotiable. We had an incident in Shoreditch. Legal is involved. The spade was returned but it was different somehow. Please do not ask about the spade.
We are not legally permitted to answer this question following a recent conversation with our solicitor, who described our business model as "technically not a crime."
The lights dim. The tay stops. SĂ©amus looks directly into the camera for the first time. Most users leave at this point. Some do not. We are monitoring the situation.
We have submitted the relevant forms. The council responded with a letter that simply read "what?" We have filed this under 'Pending.' A second letter arrived last week that just said "no seriously what." We are treating this as ongoing dialogue.
Entirely by Amazon gift cards and one angel investor who believed he was funding a podcast studio. He has since visited a pod and now books weekly sessions. He has not asked for his money back. He has named his spade.
We don't know. The audio was recorded in a field outside Letterkenny in 2019. There was a dog at the time. Whether the dog is still there is unknown. Several users have asked to meet the dog. We cannot facilitate this. We don't know where the field is. We lost the pin.
We will refund any user who can honestly say they did not feel at least slightly damp. No one has claimed this. The peat is very damp. We are confident in our dampness.